Kill a bear. Ride a bear. Worship a bear. Eat a bear? Here’s our review of the terrific Total War: Warhammer 3…
Absolutely massive game. New feature overload. Small word count. Third series entry. Three-word sentences? Let’s try it. Eight asymmetrical factions. One dying god. Sprawling strategy sandbox. Real-time battles. (Total War, yeah?) High fantasy prose. British gallows humour. Demons, humans, ogres. Prevent the apocalypse. Bring the apocalypse. Eat the apocalypse? Typical Warhammer silliness. Easy to love.
Detailed, varied playstyles. Slavic, hardy Kislev. Polar bear cavalry. Serious ranged firepower. Staunch, regal Cathay. Fantasy ancient China. Immovable defensive bulwark. Alluring, barbed Slaaneshi. Nimble glass cannon. Metal album Khorne. Armoured berserker rush. Pustulent, ponderous Nurgle. Slow but tanky. Tricksy sorcerer Tzeentch. Serious firepower, fragile. Ravenous Ogre Kingdoms. Siege weapons? Fists. Welcome comic relief.
Unleash devastating plagues. Seed pleasure cults. Invoke winter winds. Spin celestial compasses. Kill a bear. Ride a bear. Worship a bear. Eat a bear? Summon skyscraping demons. Transform into dragons. Spinal Tap subtlety. Stupidly, gloriously gratifying. Balancing all this? No mean feat. Pulls it off? Close enough, anyway. Everything is overpowered. Nothing is overpowered. Warhammer as usual.
The lush lands of Grand Cathay are a welcome reprieve from the chaos blasted wastelands.
Co-op campaign improvements. Tailored multiplayer narratives. Borrow mate’s units. New competitive mode. Welcome tabletop influence. Shockingly well optimised. Beefy PC recommended. Unit mass issues. Chariots get stuck. Some spells overtuned. Completely busted autoresolve. Patch this, please.
Tactical game-changer? Not really, no. Flank, hammer, anvil. Buff, debuff, kite. Infantry, cavalry, ranged. Rock, paper, scissors. (Total war, yeah?) Where’s the spice? Faction-specific weaknesses. Daemons lack range. Ogres? Huge targets. Human gun lines? Disrupt with monsters. Asymmetry, asymmetry, asymmetry. Improved battle AI. Artillery shell dodging!
Siege rework, finally! Major settlement sieges. Greatly improved cities. Paths, walkways, platforms. Minor settlement battles? No more walls! Unique, gorgeous maps. Barricades and towers. Enjoyable, but repetitive. Did I mention the busted autoresolve? I’m breaking my rule because, crikey, I hope it gets patched soon.
So, old formula. But clever twists. Community feedback addressed. Tiny, significant adjustments. Smoother, cleaner, faster. Not a revolution. 100 tiny tune-ups. It wasn’t broken? Fixed it anyway. Absolutely gorgeous presentation. Snow-capped peaks. Tundra blasted wastelands. Chaos-corrupted features. Pristine Arctic waterfall. Khorne corruption high? Waterfall’s blood now.
Beauty, eye, beholder, etc.
New diplomacy! Three Kingdoms complexity? Nope, but improved. Best military buddies? Hire their units. Borrow their armies. Sound stupidly overpowered? Quite well balanced. Requires limited resources.
New campaign structure! Chaos portals everywhere. Spew hostile armies. Relentless, but manageable. Travel to hell. Resist Slaaneshi temptation. Earn Khorne’s favour. Puzzle Tzeentch’s maze. Inhale Nurgle’s sharts. Great first time. Less so, repeated. Total War’s Albatross. Sandbox vs Structure. A fine effort.
Campaign craves investment. Rewards it generously. Mammoth production values. Evident passion project. A wonderful juxtaposition. Slaaneshi-level intoxicating. One major issue? Incessant campaign structure. Battles are phenomenal. So is cheesecake. Nausea still occurs. Please fix autoresolve. Otherwise? Spectacular RTS. Evokes classic Blizzard. Some problematic nails. Solution: more Warhammer.
Highlight
Despite broad adherence to Total War archetypes, unit and faction diversity is impressively diverse, offering an inventive balance between established lore and an ever-evolving power curve between dozens of factions.
